This isn’t the usual thing I write about, but when I read about it on Gizmodo and then saw it confirmed on NBC news, I was… well, amazed. Apparently, a woman and her boyfriend decided to try something different in bed. He hooked up a dildo over top of the blade of his reciprocating saw. Power was applied, the saw cut through the dildo, and then started cutting through the girlfriend. A few more moments, and this might have been a 2009 entry for the Darwin awards….
The question must be asked: was it the guy’s idea, or the woman’s? And if it was his idea, is this a dozen rose situation? A diamond bracelet oopsy? Or a pack your bags and hit the road error? Whatever the answer, here is Kelly’s Safety Tip of the Day: Don’t buy your sex toys at Home Depot. Just… don’t.
Ummm … err …hmmmm.
Okay, it’s official. I’m speechless.
No wait! If he wanted to show his imagination and prowess as lover shouldn’t he have used a “Skill” saw?
Hehe… skill saw 😉 When I first read this, I had to google to make sure what type of saw they were referring to. And of course, I kept wondering: why would anyone think turning a power tool into a sex toy is a good idea? More research revealed (warning: definitely *NOT* safe for work) this product. They have a whole collection of attachments to turn a reciprocating saw into a sex toy. Now *I’m* speechless…
Here’s the thing: the “commercial” “turn your saber saw into sex toy” products *replace* the blade with a smooth metal rod, to which can then be added an appropriate dildo. This is where our intrepid boyfriend from the news story went off the rails: he decided to build his own and, instead of replacing the blade with a comparably safe metal rod, he attached the dildo directly onto an actual cutting blade. Note that I say “he” perhaps unfairly: it could be that the guy came home to find his girlfriend had rigged up his power tool, and she said “wanna give it a go, honey?” But somehow I sense the actual assembly, if not the idea itself, is something the man would come up with.
Its one of those things that, the more you dig, the more you realize that there is an entire world about which you know nothing. A world where men and women use power tools, medical devices, and all manner of clamps and straps to get their jollies. It must make for some interesting days in the emergency rooms of hospitals all around the world…
Well, I have come across the “F—ing” machines before, they even have them on cable on “Sin cities” show ( Bravo “arts” channel I think.) Which are elaborate contraptions that seem to be an off shoot of the S&M bondage fetishes.
But I have set wood on fire from the friction caused by a reciprocating saw just like that, I have also burned myself because it heated up the metal to such a degree ( they cut through pipe, not to mention screws, nails and bolts … it’s why you use them.) that even after I put the saw down the metal I had cut through was still hot enough to sear flesh.
I have to wonder just what sort of woman would find that “stimulating”? Even with the proper non saw edged attachments and a bucket of lubricant, I can’t imagine that it would be anything other than painful and bruise inducing.
Oh well… for me I just can’t get past the mental image of being in the heat of passion, saying. “just a moment my love, I have just the thing”, reaching under the bed and … TA DA! Mr SAW! I giggle / snicker everytime I think of it. I guess my kink-o-meter stops somewhere around “spray can of whipped cream” 😉
As an avid follower of the fetish scene I have came across many interesting endeavors of sexual tools, but this one strikes me as a “Tim The Tool Man Taylor” situation. I mean the sybian is acceptable, as a matter of fact it is the mechanical bull of sexual stimulation products, but a reciprocating saw? I’m not only speechless, but i’m going to build one myself right now!